It had been a very rainy summer and the day was equally as threatening as so many over the past several weeks. Our monthly Union County Ostomy Support Group of New Jersey meeting was scheduled for 2:00 and I was thinking out loud to anyone within listening range that I expected very few would be venturing to the meeting. After all, aside from the threatening weather, it was the dead of the summer, and a big vacation week in the middle of August.
My supposition was that the meeting would be secondary to other things calling out to the group those few precious last weeks, and we would be lucky if 3-5 people attended. My sister was visiting me from Florida and I was so anxious for her to meet our group, and see Angela Natale-Ryan, my WOC Nurse she knew from my hospitalization when I had my ileostomy four years ago. Due to some virulent infections and abscesses, I was so sick that Mindy slept in the room with me for a week, and as such, became an integral part of my recovery. She was anxious to reconnect with Angela and I wanted those few I thought would be attending to meet her.
In addition to our “regulars,” I speak with many future or new ostomates and always invite them to attend our next meeting. As president of the group, I encourage their participation, and will meet them in the lobby of the Medical Center and escort them to our meeting room, so they feel comfortable. In truth, I never know who will be attending of those with whom I have spoken, but I am hopeful to have made enough of an impact, that they will feel comfortable joining us. Additionally, the three WOC Nurses invite those visiting our new Ostomy Center to join us…a win all around.
As I entered the seminar room where we meet, I looked around at the 20 chairs set up for us, and laughed to myself. Of course, we would not need all of those. But as not only our “regulars” but many new faces walked through the door, I was extremely surprised. By the time the meeting began, we were setting up chairs for at least 30 people, including not only the new people, but their support team! My sister, Mindy, kept looking at me (as if to say…”you never know!”) as I jumped up to meet or greet attendees.
Once we settled down, we introduced ourselves. I encourage anyone with a problem or issue to tell us at that time what it is, and then we can return to address it with them after everyone has had a chance to introduce themselves. Medicare issues, fit of appliances, how often to change appliances, as well as discussion of illness and medications are just some of the topics we discussed. Additionally, one new colostomate wanted to discuss reversal, and know how the group felt about it.
My heart was so full as our meeting clearly did what it was supposed to do…bring us together over our mutual physicality, and the concomitant emotional issues we face. We were vulnerable, candid, open, and concerned for each other. We were supportive and knowledgeable. We opened our arms and enveloped each other as only we could do. We were 30 people with different ostomies, different stories of how we got there, but in truth, we understood without words what we were saying to each other.
In June Overlook Medical Center in Summit, New Jersey, opened our Ostomy Center as a reaction to the needs of our community. It is one of the very few in New Jersey, and our three and a half WOC Nurses now have a home where they can do their magic. Angela Natale-Ryan, Stephanie D’Andrea, Ronnie Funke and Pam Hughes rotate through there. As such, they meet with new ostomates and set them in the right direction. I tell anyone who will listen that without our “Angels” many of us would have a different and undoubtedly challenging quality of life.
I am very proud to say that for me, personally, my life has been enhanced by my ileostomy and the goals I have. Through my outreach to the medical community at large, I have been invited to assist in the development of other Support Group chapters. Had I known when I was living through my 23 abdominal surgeries that I would have such a rewarding direction one day, the path I traveled would not have been as difficult. I can offer a genuine smile to everyone in my group, because we are all part of something special.