Recently, I was at my favorite spot and ran into a woman from town having lunch with her friend. The friend commented on my ensemble of a tunic, capri pants and fun shoes. As I thanked her for her compliment, she began to weep, and I immediately reached down to comfort her. I had no idea the reason for her tears, but seeing her sadness made me want to help. I had no idea how much help I could actually offer…
Amy told me that she is struggling with her body image since she recently had a “terrible surgery” that left her feeling disfigured and she is just miserable. She told me she hasn’t been able to stop crying since this surgery five weeks ago. I asked if she felt comfortable telling me about her surgery. She pointed to her abdomen and whispered she had “a bag.” I told her I, too, have a bag, and she said, “no!” “I have a bag…a real bag…a colostomy!” She then went on to tell me the worst part of the recovery is that she can’t wear any of her clothes since she worries people will be able to see her pouch. I hugged Amy and told her the hand of fate had put her in the right place and that I would help her adjust to her new life, would help her make her wardrobe a success, with a few suggestions, which hopefully will help all of our readers:
- Maternity pants are a wonderful way to support the distention and fullness that sometimes accompanies our ostomy, as well as hiding our pouches. And when the abdomen is supported, it may help any back discomfort, as well. No longer unattractive, maternity pants are as stylish as the young women demanding the opportunity to look wonderful at “that time” and the ability to dress with flair and panache! They are available not only at maternity shops but at Target, Walmart and some department stores, as well as online through Amazon, etc. My recommendation is to buy a few colors and patterns of what fits well, and the basis for a very wearable wardrobe has been established. Picture a denim, basic black, brown or navy pair of pants that not only look good, but are comfortable in the areas we need them to be, without worrying about buttons or zippers catching our pouch. Additionally, please remember that elastic waist and paper bag waisted pants are more stylish than ever, and are a wonderful alternative to maternity, if you are so inclined. There are many designers who value not only the comfort of elastic waist, but how they fit the body without too much indentation around the middle.
- Tunics, tunics and more tunics are one with a hernia or an ostomate’s best friend, because they are longer than the average top, and fit loosely but not oversized, which can look sloppy. Additionally, if the top is oversized, it may swallow up a smaller woman, and if we want to appear trim, it will add pounds we don’t want to add. In contrast, a tunic in a soft material will drape nicely across the body, particularly the abdomen, but won’t reveal our pouch or appliance. Picture a floral print top over solid pant, or a solid tunic over a fun pattern, such as a check or plaid pant. Either will take you where you want to go and if you add a cute short jacket, sweater or shrug, you will not have to worry about being cold inside or out.
- Spanx has become synonymous with undergarments, and ostomates can take advantage of the shape, support, and structure they offer. The categories of shaping levels are from “Smoothing a Little” to “Shaping a Lot” to “Sculpting a Whole Lot.” (Please be aware that some of the fabrics may have too much binding fabric, and can cause abdominal cramping, so be mindful when determining which level of shaping is best for you.) Garments come in several shades of nude, so every woman can feel her undergarments are not noticeable, or she can choose black. The Spanx line even offers what they call “undie-tectable hipsters and briefs.” This is a great alternative to wearing a panty with a place for our pouch, especially if you wear a high-output pouch like I do, which features a nozzle, and is longer than other pouches. Spanx offers seamless leggings, which are great to wear with tunics or under dresses, which is a fun way to dress down…a dress! Spanx stores are in many malls, and of course, can be purchased online through spanx.com.
- When I was a new ostomate, I thought there would be no place in my wardrobe for belts, and gave most of them away. The only ones left in my closet are chain belts, which I have accumulated in various metals with cute charms, and accoutrements. Lo and behold, as time has gone on, I am so attracted to wearing my chain belts over tunics, jackets and dresses, that I am happy to have saved them! There is something very feminine about a flowy dress or top gathered at the waist but without too much constraint. I can pull out fabric above the belt, or beneath, creating the look and fit I want. Additionally, the gathering produced by the chain belt hides our pouch beautifully…a true win!
- Men with ostomies can take advantage of the new “Untuckit” shirts that have gained great popularity. Rather than the bottom of the shirt having the traditional “tuck in” shape, these shirts are hemmed straight across. This gives a very finished and polished look over pants, jeans or khakis. Some men will love not having to wear a belt within the loops on their pants since it will not be seen under the untucked shirt. In our Support Group, I have heard the men advise each other to wear suspenders if a belt is uncomfortable and there is concern the pants will gape at the waist.
Hopefully, these suggestions will enhance your wardrobe options and make dressing all the more stylish, up to date and attractive!
Originally published in the Phoenix Magazine.