It is my belief that CONFIDENCE is a muscle that needs to be built regularly in order to be flexed when necessary. The reason I mention it is because my husband, Bruce, picked me up at the airport this weekend, and commented how I walk with much more confidence than ever, and he confided he finds that quality attractive, a sign of feeling good about myself, a sign of recognizing my achievements. I liked that observation, having always worked hard to be productive and successful in all I do. To project these feelings in my walk reminded me of something I had read many years ago…
Those many years ago, women’s magazines offered advice in articles on everything from fashion to housekeeping to intimacy, and a million things in between. One such article advised us how to “walk into a room confidently.” It just as easily could have said “exuding sexuality” since it seemed that way to me at the time. “Walk with your chest high, your nipples entering the room before the rest of you, Ladies. Imagine your legs growing longer as you take your stride, wearing heels like Barbie. And envision your waist and torso as tiny as a waif, gathering all eyes upon you.”
Now, in truth, I don’t actually remember all the article/s said, but the gist is that walking with confidence is a great tool for telling the world you feel good, strong, capable. Making eye contact, shoulders back and squared, smiling and opening to others are all compelling fibers of the CONFIDENCE muscle. No surprises here.
The surprise to me, however, is that I am infinitely more confident, open and engaging these past 5 years since my ileostomy (named, as you know, Lily) than I have been in decades. Dealing with illness, debilitating pain, dependence on the medical community and my family and friends, all took its toll, and I had a hard time remembering to walk with my chest high, etc. There were days that were simply too much of a challenge, or I was recuperating from the last bad day. I didn’t care about building or flexing my CONFIDENCE muscle in the slightest. It was life from day to day, minute to minute. But today, it is a sense of gratefulness that pulls back my chest and makes my (extremely short!!!) legs feel slightly longer upon entering a room!
For all living with chronic situations, please know there are better days ahead for you. Do not give up, do not give in. Keep questioning, keep fighting for answers, show up for yourself and don’t stop. Anger won’t help, frustration won’t help, disappointment won’t help. All these will do is waste your precious energy. Determination, dedication and self-advocacy are within your grasp…that, and a little CONFIDENCE!