Like everyone this weekend, I am feeling the grief of yet more loss at the hands of a murderer in Virginia Beach…one who took 12 lives, injured others, and changed the landscape of countless lives. How sad, how horrific, how unfair, and how frightening! Once again, a “safe place” was not safe, and we need to acknowledge that we wear our vulnerability like the transparent cloak it is.
This is not a statement on gun violence. I recognize that although I am a proponent of stronger gun laws, and our right to feel safe in our schools, municipal buildings, Churches, Mosques and Synagogues, the NRA and other right-to-bear-arms groups feel just as strongly about their rights.
This is about how fear can paralyze us, or at the least, impede our ability to live well our lives. Dwelling in the “this can happen and that can happen” take us from the now and throw us into a panic for the future. Yes, crossing the street can be dangerous, but getting to the other side may be the most fulfilling experience we could imagine. Traveling outside of our local sphere may present us with all of the “what ifs” happening and we may be forced to create a new coping skill. The safe and steady way of being may fill us with quiet comfort, but how much might we experience if we step out of our comfort zone?
One of my favorite movie lines is from PARENTHOOD, from decades ago. In recognition of the challenges parents face, one character says to the other, “would you rather be on a carousel or a roller coaster?” Those with the need to hold tight will say the carousel, with its pretty painted ponies that have such charm and predictability. It is unlike the roller coaster which chugs along, picks up speed, twists around curves, picks up more speed, and as our hearts are racing and we experience that moment when we think we will never be in control again…well, we may never be in control in quite the same way, but hopefully there will be more excitement along the way!
Fearing something will happen doesn’t prevent it from happening. Visiting our fear over and over again doesn’t protect us, it just makes us go through something we may never actually have to endure. And if we have to endure it, we need our minds and bodies to be ready, strong and positive. Fear will only sabotage and weaken us. Choose strength and take a chance!
Excellent !!!
Excellent !!! ….