What is better than loving your partner and knowing you are loved in return? As we spoke last night, I pointed out how much easier it is to do the things that are important to us if we do not have to question that aspect of our lives. I recognize that we are so fortunate to feel so much adoration and respect for each other, but I also realize that did not “just happen,” and that a great deal of work went into the “today” of our relationship.

Bruce and I met when I was still 14 years old, and he newly 16. Not only were we so young, speaking for myself, but I was also very far from being formed. Many couples can not weather the storm of growth and development that seems to happen to most of us over the years. How possible is it to know one’s values and precepts of life before even graduating high school? We have three grandchildren in high school and the thought that they would find their life’s love at their ages is beyond astounding, and a little frightening. Not everyone gets to grow up, or even grow in a committed relationship.

Truth be told, there were many challenges along the way. I entered our marriage a naive young woman determined to “do everything right” so we would live happily ever after. But over the years, I became a fiercely determined woman who wanted so much more out of life than to be the obedient little wife. That had to present confusion for Bruce, who saw me one way, and I was no longer, well, that way.

But our love for each other and for our daughters, our family, was a strong glue, thank goodness. And then I became sick with my horrific bowel issues, and Bruce showed his mettle, his love, his support and his true being over and over again. In fact, he walked alongside me through 23 years of agony and 23 surgeries, countless trips to the Emergency Room, countless procedures and tests, countless times when I told him it was the end, and he was absolved of any responsibility to be with me…or did I just imagine that, too sick to speak it?

We never know when we will be called into action to be a hero or support one we love. My mind certainly wasn’t on that when I saw Bruce walk across the floor to ask me, a total stranger to him, to dance in December 1963. I wasn’t wondering if he would be my rock, my knight in shining armor, my love for always; no, at 14 years old, I only knew my stomach had butterflies as he had his arm around my waist. That night I raced upstairs to tell my mother I had met this adorable boy, gushed about how he asked me to dance, what I said, what he said…and my mother told me that was the boy I was going to marry. She always told me she was a witch and could see the future, and I am so grateful my future has been with such a wonderful man! Happy Birthday, Bruce!

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