As the New Year approaches, I am hoping my future posts will be filled with great moments to share, tips for Ostomates, perhaps a little fashion commentary, updates on my family, the things that make me happy. Born an optimist, I am forever looking for my half-full glass. However, please allow me one more trip down a very sad road, as I tell you about the farewell we gave Wendy.
Because of the way in which Wendy died, there was a forensic investigation and that took days to accomplish. In the Jewish religion, one is buried before sundown the day of death, which was last Saturday. However, her funeral could not be held until this past Friday and as raw as all of us were, our scab was opened again and it was terribly painful. However, Wendy would have been shocked to see the outpouring of love and adoration from so many. The funeral home was packed to capacity, with not only the Chapel filled, but the parlors and foyers, and standing room around the perimeter. The trip to the cemetery, frequently a lonely procession of a few, was probably 40 cars long, and I was right in front of the line with my red car, a beacon for those behind me to follow. The burial was quite full with all of us throwing dirt on the casket, another Jewish tradition that tears at the heart. I learned that the reason we throw dirt into the grave with the shovel turned upside down is that we are “denying what we are doing…we don’t want to do it, but it is something we must do!”
All of this defines the end of a life well-lived, a “woman of valor” as is frequently spoken of wonderful women at their funeral. But the place I went when it was too hard to listen to this finite moment in her life, was Wendy lived a beautiful life, did wonderful and giving things, found ways to make the world a better place, knew the right words to say, gave a hug like no other, loved fully and without judgment. She modeled goodness, and Steve, Mandy, Willow and Violet, as well as her closest friend, Sharon, and all of us who felt part of her “closeness” will forever be tied to her with invisible threads.
May this be the end of sadness this year, and may she send us a better one this coming year. She will forever be in my heart, as she has been for all of the years I have known and loved her…