Admittedly, it is very difficult to find anything that could possibly be sweet about the Corona Virus Quarantine. The statistics, statistics of sick or lost loved ones, is beyond sobering; the questions of how to live our lives are never-ending; the anger, fear, and concern with which we are burdened on a day to day, moment to moment basis is exhausting; and as of this writing, during the summer that never was, the knowledge that we have not one iota of control or ability to predict when or how our lives will change back to a recognizable existence, is so disheartening.
But I have a thought to share, and that is the small things in life have become big things, at least in my life, and that is a good thing. I am thinking it may be the same for you, as well. A few days ago, I met two lifelong friends for lunch. We social distanced in the backyard of one of them. She shared with us that never had she thought of her backyard as the nirvana it has become. Chairs with covers over the top for shade, beautiful flowers around the perimeter, a table and chairs large enough for a small gathering, and access to the bathroom away from the rest of the house. What more did we need?
We brought our lunch, so there was no stress on the hostess, no need to run out and create a “luncheon” as she has in the past. No need to be sure to meet any dietary requirements. We came prepared to sit, talk, relax, lament, debrief, get real, laugh, shed a tear, get angry, and in the end, feel grateful. Although we couldn’t hug each other, we were still able to give each other all the love we always have, and we left feeling connected in a deep and meaningful way.
In thinking about the day, it occurred to me that I transition so quickly from one thing to another, that I often don’t really take in what I experience. But with less on my plate, less calling me into action, I was actually able to think about and absorb conversation, feelings, and the joy of being away from what has become my usual sequestered place. Even my home felt better when I returned as if to acknowledge that the change was good for me, even for those few hours.
That is not to say we haven’t left the area once the quarantine was lifted. We went to our children in south Jersey to “drive-by” our grandson on his twelfth birthday, traveling an hour and a half each way to see him smile. In all honesty, the smile which stretched across his beautiful face was more a reflection of seeing his friends as they did what has become common, parents beeping the horn as they slowly, at a snail’s pace rode by the house, the kids hanging out of the windows and sunroofs, playing instruments and holding up signs. Max was thrilled his parents had set up this pseudo party for him.
We have Zoomed cocktail parties, Bar Mitzvahs, 50th Anniversary celebrations and sadly, a Shiva as we said goodbye to a dear friend. I have facilitated Support Group meetings and take knitting lessons on Zoom. Apparently, there is Zoom protocol that guides us in the etiquette and how to dress for business meetings or more casual events. We are nothing if not a resilient society, creating ways to do what has to be done.
If there is one thing I have learned, and it remains front and center, is that being resilient, flexible, and able to bend with the winds of change is key to surviving challenges. Appreciating the smaller life we are living is helpful as we reevaluate what we learned from doing less and making do with less. My daughter, Emily, says “we never have enough of what we do not need.” Perhaps that is the lesson for all of us…we have what we need, as long as we are healthy and safe, connected to those we love, and able to look ahead to a good day tomorrow, and that will make it a better one.
Amen.