It has occurred to me that the unsung heroes in any patient’s return to normalcy is the Caregiver. They are the ones who are on the frontline as the patient adjusts to their change in life. In the matter of ostomy, there are so many shifts that need to be made, that the Caregiver can make the recovery that much smoother, and their support is invaluable.
In any given month, I may speak with half a dozen new Ostomates, or their Caregivers, and there is so much to unpack with each of them. It usually begins with the fear both have, the worry about future health, the anxiety about getting supplies, etc., and the grief of loss. All of these are conversations unto themselves, conversations that can lead to a greater understanding of a world they have entered, and about which they know very little.
The physical change includes a stoma, which is an opening created surgically on the abdomen which diverts either stool or urine from their natural outlets. The stoma looks like a rosebud, red in color, and usually quite round. Many Ostomates name their stoma Rosie, because of the connection in appearance to the shape and flower. I have named my stoma Lily, in honor of my mother, Lillian, or Lil. My mother gave me my first life, and Lily gave me my second chance at life! Without her, I have no doubt I would have ceased to exist, as is the case with so many. There are a million Ostomates in this country, and 100,000 surgeries performed each year. We all come to realize, at whatever point in our recovery, that our ostomy is a lifesaver, and without it, we most probably would all cease to exist.
But our adjustment takes work, support, patience, and positive thinking. These areas are where the shift occurs. Our Caregivers can accelerate all of these adjustments by opening their minds and hearts to the emotions experienced by the patient; actively listening to the medical community at appointments; educating themselves as best they can to a healthy stoma; learning when to reach out for medical care; being able to advocate for the Ostomate. Speaking as one who has been through of all of this, my husband Bruce has enabled me to know my needs are paramount when in jeopardy.
During this holiday season of celebration, despite the minimalization required due to Covid-19, it is time to celebrate those who are there for us. Whether it is to support an ostomy or any health issue, Caregivers are our rocks…we depend upon them in countless ways, and for that, we are eternally grateful!
