That expression is one of my favorites, because when I was close to 21 years old, my then-boyfriend, now-husband, Bruce, proposed to me with those words, adding he wanted to “spend the rest of his life with me.” We are so very fortunate, in that we have weathered many storms over these past 5 decades, and continue to do our best to be prepared for what is ahead. Needless to say, we were NOT prepared for what 2020 brought with it, and dare I say, I am glad we were surprised. I can still remember walking in our neighborhood at the end of March and talking about the events we were to attend in June, because, of course, Covid-19 would be gone by then. Here we are, not far from a year later, and we are still waiting to attend events with others, dine in a restaurant, go to a movie theater.

It is now the earliest days of 2021, and our hopefulness is in high gear. The vaccines promise better health, we are looking ahead to the change in administration, the ability for more people to return to the workforce, resumption of travel, a chance for stability in service industries, these are all on the horizon. My guess is there will be less looking back than looking ahead. Human nature is such that people naturally go toward pleasure and away from pain. The pain of this year is augmented by horrific loss, overwhelming fear, constant anxiety and untenable grief. We need to turn our attention to rebuilding our personal infrastructure and regaining our strength. We need to highlight our resilience, our determination and our ability to stand with others who need our help.

Where to start? What lessons have we learned? What do we want to take away from this period of time? What shifts in our thinking do we want to adopt going forward. Surely, we must have grown in some way over this year. 

There were so many things I missed this year, many having to do with the ability to be with family and friends, without concern for their health or my own. But I missed being with those in my three Ostomy Support Groups in person, being able to see their body language to determine if they were doing well or struggling. I missed serving at the Soup Kitchen on a regular basis. There is an incredible feeling that permeates the soul when feeding the hungry, even the store-bought lasagnas and corn muffins I typically contribute. I am hoping my growth this year will include other ways to stretch my awareness of what needs to be done to support our various communities. 

Along the way, through the pandemic, I learned how resilient we are, how supportive of each other in times of stress, and how many will come together to be there for those in need. Our First Responders kicked it out of the stadium with their do or die actions, generous people donated and many grassroots movements were formed. My daughter, Allison Gollin and her friend Tama Rose Bazzle founded ESSENTIAL EATS and fed those on the frontline for months with financial donations they turned into food. Those who helped resolved to do their best for those in need, and I acknowledge them with gratitude.

How, then, can we make these “first days of the rest of our lives” matter? Emily Golden’s book, THE NEW GOLDEN RULE, encourages us to treat ourselves the way we want others to treat us. That includes making New Year’s Resolutions that come from our desires and not from our “shoulds.” She is my daughter, so I know she lives her best life, and that is my resolution, as well. Looking back, I see a year of sadness. Looking ahead, I see a year that I want to fill with the gift of accomplishment for the reward it provides. I will continue to find ways to do more, give more, support more and grow more. Join me?

 

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