In keeping with the theme from my last blog, that of meeting so many amazing people in my post book launch days, I want to share that I had the great pleasure of speaking at an Ostomy Support Group meeting in St. Paul, Minnesota this week. Of course, it was virtual, and quite soon, they will be going back to pre-Covid in-person meetings, as we all hope to do. But rather than flying to that part of Minnesota, as I had three times in the past, very sick, traveling to Rochester to the Mayo Clinic, this time I was able to speak (as an incredibly healthy and fortunate woman) with other Thrivers about their lives with Ostomy.  When we say Ostomies are Lifesavers, we are speaking the truth! My gratitude to Lois Meger for inviting me, and she runs a wonderful meeting. When I was at the Mayo I learned a great deal about the people there…in general, they dwarf my 4’11” body, and they are incredibly nice. Since we were virtual and all seated, I imagine the height thing remains, and I can attest to the fact that they are all so very nice, kind and caring for each other…just the way you want a Support Group to be.

Now, about Sir Leaks-A-Lot. As I usually do when meeting new people, I ask about their experience, since we all are similar, but want to tell our story our own way. I discussed the chapters of my book, which include one called LILY, which is the name I gave my stoma. Many of my readers know my mother’s name was Lillian and she gave me my first life, and Lily has given me an even better one. We went around and those who have named their stomas told me their names. One of the members, Dale Jorgenson, told me he calls his Sir Leaks-A-Lot. It is very “tongue-in-cheek”, but we all laughed and “got the joke!” My friend, Bernadette, reminded me that chuckling at ourselves is the height of acceptance. It is the getting of the joke that brings us together, and that is the gift we give each other.

I loved Dale’s sharing attitude, and the work he is doing with other urostomates. Many of them are men and they are experiencing their adjustment differently than women, of course. He told me he uses tough love with his people; does not let the men rely upon their spouses to take care of them if they are able to do so themselves; forces them to become independent; leads the way. Self-confidence comes from this independence, and above all, we learn not to judge ourselves, but to accept ourselves. I loved it all.

Dale gave me an idea that I will pass along to my Support Groups, and I am passing along to my readers. He wrote out a bit of a script for his wife in the event he is infirmed and in that frightening position where he cannot take care of himself.  Additionally, he wrote a list of his supplies with their numbers, as well as how he gets his supplies. A small but brilliant idea, take charge while we are capable of doing so!

We all have so much to give, even when we think we have nothing new to offer. I feel like Robin Hood…stealing from one group and bringing it to another, and then stealing from that group and bringing it to another. The joy of meeting our people, our community…it never gets old, it only gets better!

 

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