Last week’s blog post brought important comments that ranged from loving the title of Dale Jorgenson’s stoma (Sir Leaks-A-Lot) to recognizing the necessity of preparing spouses for dealing with supplies, etc. if an Ostomate becomes unable to do so themselves. It is my hope that as the numbers of Ostomates increases, there will be more Wound and Ostomy Continence Nurses (WOCN’s) to assist as needed on an outpatient basis. My vision includes WOCN’s making house calls to guide worried family members.

Of course, ostomy supplies are only one part of what we all need to feel prepared to cope with sudden shifts in caring for loved ones, including, as my friend, Laura pointed out, websites passwords, etc. Thank you for that, Laura, because we need to have as much information as possible to reduce the anxiety associated with changes.

To that point, I wanted to provide extremely valuable guidance from my friend and fellow Ostomate, Judy Zucker. She is a Grief Counselor, professionally known as Judith Zucker, LCSW, and she gave me a very important suggestion I am passing along. Although this is directed toward helping people grieve loss, a large part of her practice, it can be very helpful for all of us who are dealing with the anxiety of coping with the myriad of challenges we face. This information may be particularly relevant to those watching loved ones suffer, which may make us feel very separate from the loved one…

“…getting through the nights are tough. Having anxiety attacks are normal…and when you are newly alone, (or feel alone) it’s really scary. I always suggest asking three friends for their phone numbers and if it is alright to call them in the middle of the night. Then I suggest scotch taping the names and phone numbers on your night table, because when we are scared in the middle of the night, we can’t remember who our friends are and how to reach them.”

I am reminded that there have been times when I have tiptoed out of my bedroom, leaving Bruce asleep, to call my sisters, my go-tos when the anxiety overwhelms. Fear and worry ate away at the ability to think clearly and rationally, and I am grateful they would pick up the phone. Until my ileostomy, I never knew I could have peace and days without the constant worry about hospitalizations, wondering if the day would end in the ER or the OR.

Judy’s point is so well-taken and we all need our “go-to” people for peace of mind, so let that be a decision we take the time to make. Let that person/s know they are your “go-to” if they are amenable, and that you will be there for them, as well. The nights can be scary, but peace of mind may be the gift we can give ourselves with a little thought before we turn out the lights.

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