The past few weeks have been filled with emotions, and I need to take a deep breath. It has been a time of grief and loss, sadness and a sense of reality that we are never in control of our lives, that is only a story we tell ourselves to assuage our fears. It has also been a period of holiday and the joyful sharing of time with those we love, eating delicious food, watching young children in our extended family we have not seen in two years, growing and growing! I am forever reminded that life is filled with taking with one hand but giving with the other.
The one constant throughout it all, however, is the recognition that the real value, essence and importance of life is to communicate love. At the very end of the day, that is all that truly matters. It seems that each and every emotion relies upon giving and receiving love. In fact, I believe that the very act of loving is a giving and receiving act, and that is, perhaps, why it has managed to sustain itself forever.
Many years ago, while struggling to find my identity, my voice, I told a therapist that I needed help because I didn’t feel loved. We talked about my nuclear family and how, on paper, that spelled being loved. I was married to my high school sweetheart and had two beautiful daughters. But I still could not absorb their love. We talked about my successful and profitable career, but that didn’t bring me the feeling of satisfaction I craved, loving my work. It finally came to me that I was expecting love to wash over me, but I was afraid to let it spring forth, afraid of being rejected, the love not accepted. That was an incredible turning point, and one which fills me with gratitude to this day. One must be able to communicate love to feel it in return.
All these years later, I want to always step up and give myself to those in my world. That means loving in whatever manner is appropriate. A smile, a socially distant or virtual hug, a kind word, taking time to truly hear, not just listen to concerns, be with my Ostomy Support Groups as we define our needs and struggles…whatever it takes to show my love.
My guess is that we all need to take a deep breath right now! Between the political climate, the pandemic and variants, the concern about hurricanes and fires, etc., there is no end to worry. Many of those things are not within our control, as we well know. But perhaps as we take that deep breath, we can also tie it to a sense of communicating love where we can. The human condition is what it is, but if the essence of life is to communicate love, then that is within our control, a blessing for sure!
A great big virtual hug for you, my friend. I so appreciate all you do for others, me included – calls, Zoom group meetings, checking up on us or advocating for those in need ❤ your love is never too big Ellen!
Can’t wait till we can meet again in person!
Ellyn,
Thank you for another insightful essay . You share your feelings so easily. I am amazed at ur openness. I am much more reticent.
Bonnie
I completely believe the essence of life is to communicate love.
We are most blessed to have this as this is a powerful tool in all our toolboxes.
But we have to understand that worry invariably accompanies our essence of life as part of our need to communicate love.
We are truly blessed to have both these tools in our toolbox as well.
Taking a deep breath is our tool to center ourselves to help us hear that higher power.
Amen to all that !!
Lovely reminder!