In my last blog post, I lamented the sad reality that many face the holidays in a state of food scarcity, food insecurity. I mentioned the Soup Kitchens, Food Banks, Community Food Chests and Pantries that do their best to provide for those in need. This week, I want to discuss that for many of us, food creates another issue…not the lack of food, but the fear of it.

Eating disorders, disordered eating, foods that cause gut issues, intestinal blockages, gluten, lactose, sugar, and allergic reactions all find a voice this time of year. Is it any wonder people struggle from October until after the New Year? First, we are challenged by Halloween candies all around, then the constant chatter about what is being served at Thanksgiving; before we have finished cleaning out the refrigerator of leftovers, we are seeing gifts of chocolates, baked goods, eggnog, latkes, donuts and more everywhere we turn. For those of us who grapple with health or body issues, the holidays are fraught with peril.

Many times, we are not even aware of the issues of those around us when the conversation turns to what may feel a threatening focus on food. My first battle with my own eating disorder manifested around “the freshman fifteen” pounds I gained, like so many at college. But having an unhealthy relationship to food took over my life, taking me from the agony of anorexia to the chaos of bulimia, as well as an exaggerated need to exercise all hours of the night…all night! The sad and lonely existence that obsessive self-punishment created took years to overcome. And although I am aware I no longer want to punish myself, like so many who have suffered, I am forever mindful of the toll such obsessions take on our psyche.

Additionally, those of us with health issues suffer, as well, at the food aspect of the holidays. Unknowing people will simply assume that there is a rudeness associated with turning away from what is served at parties and gatherings. There may be an attempt to push “relaxing control” the one with a health issue needs to exert, undermining the enormous strength it takes to say “no” to certain foods. Everyone may become defensive, rather than understanding that for those without health issues, there is little understanding of the toll the wrong foods take on one’s body. Bowel obstructions, gluten or lactose reactions, diabetes all have potentially long lasting deleterious effects that cannot be minimized!

Regardless of the reason holiday food has power over some of us, please do your best to find a safe place to go with your fears or concerns. Therapists and Coaches may help with taking ownership of your reality and may enable the ability to find the words to set boundaries with others. Finding a buddy who has your back when the temptation gets too great is also a huge comfort. Support is around you, so please recognize you are in charge and your health not only depends upon it but will greatly benefit from it.

 

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