A member of my family would joke as each new year approached that his resolution was to “strive harder toward perfection!” Although we would laugh because it seemed such an impossible goal, it began to resonate with me that while many of us spend our energy seeking that perfection, we have little time left to become who we are meant to be.
It is my belief that once we give up our need to be perfect (again, that impossible, as well as different for each person, ideal) we can begin to recognize who we truly are. At that moment, we are free to appreciate all we have accomplished, regardless of how much more we want to achieve in our lives. Imagine how many goals we could reach if we came from a place of empowerment, rather than being overwhelmed by the striving for them.
Focusing on doing everything “right” prevents us from taking the risks we may need to take in order to follow our dreams. As children, we expect to hear the word “no” over and over again as we venture into situations deemed unsafe for us by our protective parents. As we grow, we eschew entering situations where we may be told “no” and take it as a criticism or boundary we are unable to cross. Sometimes, being told something is negative is just the challenge we need in order to turn it into a positive. If that seems untrue, look at this past year in the realm of space travel; look at those who are told they will never walk again, as they stand tall and take one step and then another in Israel; look at those with new organs and better functioning ones, who are living a more normal life than they were ever told was possible. When I was a young speech therapy and audiology student, I was told those who are profoundly deaf will remain unable to hear but look at those with cochlear implants. The world is full of exploration, and not focusing on perfection is the way to advance our dreams. Taking chances, being rejected, taking more chances, making strides, this may be the road to true perfection.
Lastly, I want to make a very important point; it is my belief that many give themselves the message, tell themselves their idea of perfection is too far beyond them, they will never accomplish their lofty goal; they spend so much time worrying about how “the doing” measures up, their “striving toward perfection” creates fear they are unable to achieve it. It stops them in their tracks, rather than motivating them to take steps toward making the changes they deem necessary. Let’s make this the year we stop worrying about perfection, appreciate how amazing we already are, have the confidence in ourselves to make a difference in the world, and praise ourselves for a job well done!
There’s a reason that I adore you Ellyn, our ideas about perfection are so similar. No One is Perfect, period! Once you can accept that & stop making yourself crazy trying to be perfect; happiness & self-acceptance can prevail.
Personally, I think ‘perfect’ people are boring!! Stop being afraid & enjoy LIFE!! It’s way too short to miss out on!
How very true Ellyn. We all must learn to appreciate the journey not the destination. It is ironic but it is easier to see as a grandparent than as a child or a parent. Aging does have its rewards. ?
There is absolutely’no perfect’ person. Everyone has their own idiosyncrasies which makes them special in their own right.
Ellyn, you have given voice to a condition that paralyzes millions, including me before a similar revelation. It’s very liberating to enjoy the ride and not just focus on the destination.
Your blogs are always inspirational without being sappy.