Last week I was shopping with a friend at a special occasion boutique. As usual, a few things caught my eye, and I had them set aside in a fitting room. In preparation for trying them on, I asked to use the bathroom. Emptying my pouch is so important, particularly when I am trying on clothes. If there is a leak around my stoma, or a potential leak, that is the time to discover it…not when in a fitting room with clothes that are not mine! 

The response I received was that the bathroom was filled with boxes and couldn’t be used…I could go across the street to the supermarket and use their bathroom. The look on my face must have revealed how angry that made me for several reasons, the primary one being that if you are a store that caters to women, and women typically need to frequently use the bathroom, making it off limits to shoppers seemed thoughtless. As I stood there, digesting this statement, the saleslady continued to tell me that a huge shipment had just been delivered into the bathroom, that it was dangerous going there, and on and on. At that point, I walked away, my pouch full, my mind racing, wondering if I should simply walk out of the store. The dresses were gorgeous, confections all, but what price my dignity, and here was a fight that felt worth fighting!

I became mobilized, gave my handbag to my friend, got in touch with my determination and walked up to the saleslady who had so graciously given me her name when she saw me as a customer. Now, I was a warrior. “Karen, I need the ladies’ room, and I need it now! I have a card which I will present that makes my need for a bathroom evident, and if you have a difficult time with that, we can discuss the American Disability Act.” At that point, Karen began to show kinks in the armor. “I don’t make the rules. I will take you to the bathroom, but it is very dangerous,” she said. I braced myself for a trip tantamount to trekking through the Amazon.

Imagine how foolish Karen must have felt when there were NO boxes, NO huge delivery, NO dangerous items in or around the lovely bathroom. In fact, other than it being in the storeroom (believe me, I have been in many of those) it was absolutely fine. 

Why am I telling you this story? Because although I recognize that dealing with the public can be messy and perhaps dirty, in general, most people are respectful when using someone else’s bathroom. Making a bathroom available is a courtesy extended to others, one we have come to expect, and for those in need, greatly appreciated. And at the core, the fact that an employee must lie to a shopper, create an entire story that is false, embellished and exaggerated, is quite disgraceful. The employee becomes complicit in the lie, stammering to cover the obvious lack of truth, knowing that I knew the minute I saw the bathroom in that storeroom, the gig was up, the truth was out!

I felt quite energized by my determination to use the bathroom, but more importantly, as I said to my friend, I feel better for the next person who asks to use the bathroom, hoping I put some fear into the storeowner. Make a shopper feel welcome, and if that includes using the bathroom, so be it!

 

Spread the love