I was a speaker at the SUNA (Society of Urologic Nurses) Pre-Conference in New Orleans at the end of September…my topic was Body Image and the Ostomate.  Aside from worries about the course of Hurricane Ian, I also worried about the ability to make clear the importance of guiding and supporting those living with an Ostomy. After all, these are the urology professionals who take over once the surgeon has created the stoma, and they have an opportunity to help Ostomates transition to their new lives. My topic is one I have explored for years, written about in my book, SO MUCH MORE THAN MY OSTOMY: LOVING MY PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BODY!  and fortunately, something in which I am very well-versed, and comfortable discussing. There are many, many layers to body image, and it is my belief that we ALL seem to deal with some level of concern. How we navigate that can make us feel differently than we may believe possible.

The most common ramification of body image issue tends to be eating disorders, and sadly, that can lead to a life of misery. Of course, from a bird’s eye view, eating disorders have little, if anything to do with food. It truly isn’t food we fear, it is often succumbing to our lack of self-worth, lack of control, addiction issues or self-punishment. Throw in the flagrant idolization and idealization of the glitterati and who wouldn’t feel “less than?” Of course, we watch professional athletes and do not compare ourselves to their prowess, thinking if only we stopped or started doing something, we could achieve what they achieve. But the belief that by denying ourselves a healthy and adequate diet, we can have model bodies and reach other unattainable goals, is so sad.

In preparing for my presentation, however, I began to think about the possible connection between ostomy and eating disorders, since I sense a strong behavioral response. I came at this honestly, having suffered for years with my eating disorder. Thinking back to my most vulnerable years, I always felt full and heavy, suffering from chronic slow motility, which led to chronic constipation. Add in laxatives and colonic drinks and the distention only gave way to even more distortion. Regardless of how I starved myself, I was still always “fat” in my middle, despite a small waist and fine-boned stature.

I have met other women like myself. I recognize their agony. Not only was it ultra-difficult to deal with their lifelong slow motility, but despite all their coping efforts, they felt they lost the battle. I want them to feel they won because their ostomy enables them to have another chance, a better life.

At the conference, I discussed accepting and feeling empowered by our amazing bodies and embracing and appreciating our stomas. It was all very positive, because in fact, it is very positive. I implored the Urologic nurses to take a new Urostomate under their wing, hold their hand and support them in any way possible. The surgeon is responsible for creating the stoma, but the nurse may be responsible for putting them in touch with a Support Group or another Urostomate to guide them. I have learned that for many, it doesn’t take much to get where they need to go, and one person can make all the difference. I know that firsthand, and I wanted the nurses to know the warm feeling that comes from being that one person!

 

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