In keeping with the statement that “any publicity is good publicity” I am taking a positive view of the article in the October 31st issue of People magazine. Matthew has had a terrible time with addiction issues, and frighteningly, almost lost his life when his intestine perforated from opioids. In a coma for two weeks, Matthew awakened with a colostomy. The colostomy saved his life, of that there is no doubt, allowing waste to leave his body and his body to heal. He was reversed within the year. The reason that I, and countless others are terribly upset, is that he stated that “it was pretty hellish having one because they break all the time.” In fact, he went on to say that his therapist said to him “the next time you think about taking OxyContin, just think about having a colostomy bag for the rest of your life.” Perry said that ended interest in OxyContin.
It is difficult to express all the emotions this brings up for me and many in my situation. My ostomy was not only a lifesaver, but it was also a life changer. Yes, I am certain I would have eventually died during one of my twice-a-year surgeries; after all, how many times can one fight back? But my stoma gave me a better life than I ever anticipated or thought possible. I have become an advocate, an author, a mentor, a fashion guide, I facilitate ostomy support groups and am a motivational speaker. But more than that, and equally as important, I am a woman with a family and friends I can enjoy. My ostomy has given me back my life! Being healthy has empowered me more than I can express, and the smile on my face when I greet fellow ostomates speaks to that.
So, when a movie and television star states that having an ostomy is “hellish,” it hurts more than I can say, sending an arrow into the heart of a procedure that potentially may save the life of anyone at any time. This article and the media coverage has focused on the negative that happens infrequently, thanks to correct fitting of appliances and supplies. Specifically trained Wound and Ostomy Continence Nurses (WOCN’s) do their best to fit and guide new Ostomates and provide education, leading to a new healthy life. Additionally, guidance through the United Ostomy Associations of America (the UOAA) as well as affiliated ostomy support groups led by grateful people like me, enable an easier adjustment.
I always scream my dream that “ostomy” become a household word because it is a life saver, enabling us to thrive and live our best lives. I will add to that, if the fear of it causes Matthew Perry to maintain his sobriety, then that is wonderful, of course. I wish him to live his best life! I will only add to my wish that Matthew had somehow found a way to celebrate the life-saving surgery that enabled him to write his memoir and enjoy this time of his life. Imagine the good he could have done to help others by acknowledging the gift he and others have been given. And perhaps to help others embrace and appreciate their ability to live with their ostomy, something close to a million in this country alone, do. Now that would have made him FRIENDS of the ostomy community. I hope at some point, Matthew Perry appreciates vocally his gift of life!
Great and informative blog regarding M Perry
It is always so enlightening to hear your perspective on life changing ostomies that affect so many people. I hope someone gives him your message. Maybe he will stop and think about the other people like yourself.
ADAPT: Attitude Determines the Ability for a Positive Transformation. An acronym I created shortly after my successful permanent ileostomy 10 years ago.
Always Forge Ahead w/a Purpose!
What a heartfelt message. Thank you for sharing.
Matthew Perry missed a valuable platform to educate and influence people. Ellyn, on the other hand, did not. Bravo, Ellyn.
Bravo Ellyn for sure! We are so lucky to have you, a fellow ostomate, making such a such a difference and being such a wonderful advocate, leader, writer and source of inspiration to all ostomates.
I think people who have never had issues with bowels don’t handle something like this very well. My Ostomy was scary at first until I got used to taking care of it. It is like a chronic illness…if someone has been completely healthy all of their lives and then find themselves suddenly disabled or sick, it can bring about so many emotions. Also, him being an addict, I’m sure he had a lot of trouble dealing with everything associated with being an addict. I guess we need to be more understanding of what people are going through. Plus, he may not have had the best advocate for his colostomy appliance than others.
Sadly, for many of us, an ostomy IS hellish. It takes a long time, significant psychological and ostomy support, and recovering health to adjust, especially to a radical change for which one has not had choice or adequate preparation. In addition, it may not improve quality of life, but is often associated with cancer, a threat to one’s life.
A little tolerance from those who claim to embrace their ostomy would be appropriate here. I don’t believe anyone who has truly adjusted to or embraced their ostomy would be threatened by the honesty of someone more challenged to adapt. The other side of ostomy is scars, expense, stress, loss of control, self-consciousness, smell, leaks, skin damage, sexual and cosmetic challenges, public ignorance, blockage, diet and medication limitations, and the need to handle faeces (even one’s own) frequently.
UOAA would do a great service to this community by encouraging honesty and discussion instead of religiously denying the very real difficulties. Instead, it seems to have chosen to model potentially toxic positivity and to deny the experience of a large body of its potential audience. Those of us who could not easily adjust to our temporary ostomy and achieve the heroic model feel inadequate. It infuriates me.