It has never been more obvious that our country is fragmented, lacking cohesion. My perception is that many people have no interest in the views or beliefs of others, or even those they elect to office. It is “US” against “THEM.” We have become a red versus blue society and I feel so frustrated and sad. How will we move forward when we spend so much time and energy not validating, not trusting, not believing? Everywhere I look, I see hostility and anger, anti-this and anti-that. It hurts to think that many have deep-seated hatred for any of us based on our religion, political party, color of our skin, look of our face, or any of the myriad of markings or titles that identify us.

Perhaps it is with that in mind that I gravitate to my various communities. Monthly ostomy support group meetings bring me an incredible sense of satisfaction and cohesion. We are all on the same page, even if the page is turned at different rates of speed. We may not all come from the same place, but we acknowledge that we are experiencing the same challenges and are open to listening and guiding those in need. It is with our open hearts that we share our stories or our daily protocols. Regardless of what we want to say, there is a forum for us to speak it. I can honestly say that I have had personal contact with almost all the members of our group, welcoming and introducing them as they enter for the first time. Before Covid, when we met in person, I would greet each new member in the lobby of our medical center, wearing my flower for identification, hug them and escort them into the meeting room. That is no longer possible but Zoom brings us together and that is the proverbial “chicken soup for the soul.” Are we all politically the same? I would imagine not. Are we all the same religion and have the same skin color? I know we are not.  But I am certain that we do not spend a second on our differences. We are the same in the fact that we are survivors and thrivers, and that is all we need to know about each other. We have learned through our mutual struggles what is truly important in life!

My writing group is another community that brings satisfaction and connection. Again, we may have different political views or backgrounds and experiences. But our goal is to share our creativity and enhance our writing ability. We look forward to our twice monthly meetings to find out about each other, find our commonality and express ourselves through our writing.

Another community is built around my wonderful friendships. Yes, many are similar in age, and background, and my guess is that is what initially draws people together. But being open to relationships with those older and younger, different political parties, religions and skin colors enhances and adds texture and dimension to our lives. Being able to feel safe discussing viewpoints that are different is the key to maintaining relationships. We are not Stepford wives, nor do we want to have others feel they must be.

Finding what brings us together is the basis of community that works. And maybe that is what it takes…work. If so, count me in, because it is worth the effort to create more and more positive interaction. We need to do something, or we are headed to a world where we all have to be the same, and that is not a positive goal, even for those who think it is.

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