My daughter, Emily Golden, is a CEO and Strategic Talent Advisor as well as president of GOLDEN RESOURCES. I recently read her February newsletter and it filled me not only with pride (I am her MAMA) but inspiration for my role as a leader. Although from the day I accepted and embraced my ostomy in March, 2014, it was my intention to lead my Ostomy Support Group, I had not put down on paper the reason it was so important to me. I had a vision that included learning and then sharing my knowledge with the ostomy community, since it was obvious I had so much to absorb. But equally as important to me was mentoring those in need of my guidance. I could only do that by becoming a leader. Otherwise, why would anyone seek my support?
Thinking about Emily’s GOLDEN RESOURCES newsletter helped me to focus on why my goal is not only to lead, but to lead from love, and not fear; she says that many lead from fear, the other side of love. As trite as that may sound, it is paramount in my mind to take a deep breath and fill my being with love each and every time I begin a meeting. I want everyone who attends to have a voice and also have an ear, and that is not as easy as it sounds. There are days when I am wrung out at the end of a meeting because I feel frustrated that someone didn’t have their chance to speak and be heard. Or to have their questions answered. Zoom is an incredible format and one that works for the groups with which I am involved, but it is very different from watching body language and moving from one to another in person, gauging their response to their request.
Emily states that most leaders, most of the time, lead from fear, and not love. It’s an automatic…a default setting. And I can certainly comprehend that. With more responsibility comes more automatic behavior. The stimulus/ response is programmed into our being. She wants to shape leaders to move away from the automatic. She encourages them to come from a place of remembering who they are, take a few deep breaths, put their hand on their heart and get connected to the part of themselves they may love, forget or abandon.
Her mantra is so beautiful, and I am practicing it now before every meeting: I am warmth, I am vision, I am radiance, I am deep, I am wit, and most importantly, I am committed to making the world a better place. In that, like daughter, like mother. I am reminded of my husband, Bruce’s favorite song by the Beatles, which states, “and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make!” What could be better than leading from that?
