As a follow-up to last week’s blog post where I encouraged writing to a loved one who is no longer with us, or about feelings in general, I propose writing about accomplishments, big steps, and small. Seeing the written word is very powerful, and I believe can actually be a great motivator. When I was a long-distance runner, keeping track of my miles, as well as my goals, kept me focused and determined. Today, I find writing keeps me recognizing achievements, again, big and small.
Many who reach out to me in their desire to adapt to their new anatomy feel completely overwhelmed. There is so much to consider and for some, no preparation. In an ideal world, an ostomy would come with not only an anatomy lesson but also a step-by-step outline for each new hurdle the Ostomate faces. Since so many do not have access to an Ostomy Center or a Wound and Ostomy Continence Nurse, the period of adjustment can be longer than necessary. Even for those who choose their ostomy, as I did, there are moments of becoming overwhelmed, and writing about that can be a comfort.
Memorializing each accomplishment can go a long way in having the confidence to undertake the next step in the acceptance of any challenge. For those struggling with day-to-day issues, just being able to look back from week to week and recognizing progress can be of tremendous value. My wonderful surgeon, responsible for helping me maintain my sanity through more than half of my 23 abdominal surgeries, would have a favorite response when I was having trouble recovering. “Are you feeling better than you did last week at this time?” he would ask. As long as I was able to say “yes” he was relieved.
Please do not waste time or energy worrying that the writing isn’t sophisticated or prize-worthy. The key is to use important words that will remind us that on whatever road we are traveling, there will be starts and stops. Healing, accepting, adjusting, adapting are not straight lines. There will be days when it feels hard to believe the sun will ever shine again, and days when there isn’t a cloud in the sky. Either way, reading about our progress is our own personal experience, unless one wants to share it with the world.
As a postscript: for any who need ostomy information, I cannot stress enough the incredible value of the United Ostomy Associations of America website for EVERYTHING ONE NEEDS TO KNOW! Please refer to it or call and speak with a representative. You are NEVER ALONE when adjusting to this life-saving surgery!
Ellyn,
Your advice is always spot on, inspirational and encouraging.
It can only help to acknowledge incremental progress with gratitude.
Thank you for sharing this guidance. Writing down your feelings can be very cathartic. I’m going to share your blog on my Facebook page. Your writings are so helpful and relate to so much more to those of us with and without an ostomy.