My ostomy has given me a healthy life, and I want to share the positives. This is because it is easy to look at any with medical challenges as struggling or depressed, frustrated or unhappy. Even resentful comes to mind…why me? Here is the lowdown on life with an ostomy, the honest to goodness truth: I am healthier than I have ever been, and that makes me happier than I have ever been. The important piece of this is that I am not unique. Countless others feel exactly the same!

I am always checking in with other ostomates and so many have shared with me their “road to ostomy” and that road is not a pretty one. There may have been disease that destroyed or caused the removal of their organs; or dysfunction, such as dysmotility. They may have been pumped full of steroids that destroyed their bones. They may have been told by their physicians there is little to be done for them, or it is something they need to work with a psychiatrist because they need better mental health. At the very least, the majority were stuck somewhere in the medical maze, a very frightening and frustrating place to be. Finally having their ostomy changed so much of that.

The medical community seems to be recognizing that ostomy is a gift, a lifesaver, not a last resort, a failure of options, and that is so important. Years ago, we had a urologist speak to our Ostomy Support Group on urostomy (a diversion of urine stoma) and he was very engaging. The true engagement came, however, when he heard of the vibrant and successful lives ostomates were living. He turned to me and said he came to impart his knowledge, but came away having gained so much more…he shared his naivety in a very honest way. “I assumed I would see unhappy and limited people. But obviously, ostomy doesn’t keep you from living,” he told me. “Absolutely not,” I responded. “For most of us, it gave us back our lives.”

Is “beauty in the eyes of the beholder?” The first time I saw my stoma (I named Lily) I was shocked and frankly, overwhelmed with grief. I looked disfigured. But as soon as I embraced Lily’s ability to relieve my pain and fear, I was grateful and full of gratitude. For me, and other ostomates, as well as those who deal with other challenges, there is nothing more beautiful than a healthy outcome, as we recapture and live our best lives. THAT is the gift we have…appreciating the positives!

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