This is not a judgment call. This is a reality and here is why I state this: the body, our bodies, want to be in a state of homeostasis and will do what it can to get there. No need to run to your phone to check out the definition or understand this most important word. I will explain it to you. (I can still remember learning about it in my high school and college biology courses, and it remains in the forefront of my mind when mentoring ostomates.) Homeostasis, paraphrasing a bit, is the tendency for things to return to normal balance. In the case of the body, it is the tendency for it to heal itself, to the best of its ability. It is the most wonderful and truly beautiful accomplishment our bodies can do for us.
This understanding comes in so handy when a patient tells me of the assaults on their body, worrying they will never be healthy and without pain, again. I know that for the most part, and for most of us, that is simply not true. Each day, each week, each month there will be improvement. This is one reason why I suggest keeping a diary of the transition from their ostomy or stoma creation to healing. Although it is difficult for them to believe they will heal when they are in extremis, unless there is a concomitant that causes a more severe issue, they will return to their homeostasis.
It may sound foolish, but I tell ostomates to name their stoma (the opening that allows stool or urine to pass into a pouch) so they begin the return to balance. Fear, anger, distrust, and disbelief may be the emotion they feel most strongly. Loving and appreciating their lifesaving ostomy is the first step toward recognizing that there will be a normalcy, there will be better days ahead.
Frequently, I mention that I always attempt to meet people where they are. I know they will have less and less fear as they thrive; they will feel more trusting and believing; and that will help them to feel better. But if I stand on my soapbox and take the position that I know the future or am omnipotent, I will lose their confidence. Engaging and establishing what they need means really listening to what, at that very moment, is causing them emotional or physical pain, and then creating a program, guiding…one step in front of the other.
What helps me to help others is the knowledge that there are better days ahead. We may need to look down the road a bit, but those better days are in our future. My surgeon used to respond when I shared I was worried because I wasn’t healing as quickly as I had at another time, “Are you better this week than you were last week?” As long as the answer was positive, he was pleased.
Whether one has had surgery, fallen, had an invasive procedure, an infection or any of the myriad of issues that can make us feel unwell, please look ahead. Remember you are in an amazing body…one that most often will return to its homeostasis, and is programmed to heal, and help you feel better.
