I once read that some people do less in their lives in order to not attract attention, not have others be envious of them, or not have too much expected of them. That may work well for them, but I have also discovered that regardless of how you live your life, there will always be people who think you should do it differently. There will always be those who think you are “too out there” or “too much.” There will always be those who would feel better if you would “calm down” and “stay quiet, stop being so loud.” But I look around and realize the world is a better place when people are free to be who they are, “warts and all.” If we are all the same, losing our individuality, fitting into the same mold, then we are all interchangeable. I fear the dystopia we would see if that became the reality.

How, then, do we stretch ourselves beyond the norm, if that is our goal? A quote I loved, by Danielle LaPorte, said it well…” If you round out your edges, you’ll lose your edge.” If you have something to say or do, then that is what you must say or do. Waiting for everyone to agree with you, or approve of you will take too much energy, and take you away from your reason for the saying or the doing.

I can remember telling some people I planned to have my ileostomy, finally, after over two decades of suffering, and they thought I should not do it. “What will your life be like after the procedure?” Additionally, I was only a few months post-op when the Ostomy Support Group I had attended once before was becoming affiliated with the United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) and needed a president.  Not only was I the newest member of the group, but I hadn’t even figured out my own relationship with my ostomy. My husband, Bruce asked me how I planned to lead a group of people more experienced than I was? My answer was that I had a vision for the group and threw my hat in the ring. That was over 7 years ago, and proudly, my vision is in motion. Not only have I just started a 4th Ostomy Support Group in our general vicinity, but I am a fierce Advocate (Advocate of the Year in 2019) and on the Patient Advisory Board of the UOAA. Patients at any stage of living with or preparing to have an ostomy can call on me, since my name is given by the UOAA, American Cancer Society, physicians and even manufacturers of supplies. Without exception, I will do whatever is possible to assist in finding the answer to their needs. Support is an incredibly powerful drive, and I am all in.

Although I have shared with you what were and are my goals and vision, I am not stating these to feel more powerful. I know my power…it is in my persistence and determination, my vision for a better life for Ostomates. I am sharing this with you because if I had I not made the decision to go my own way and listened to the voices questioning my decision, I would be missing out on one of the most fulfilling chapters in my life. 

If you want to accomplish goals that have been in your mind and your heart, you, too can become your own cheerleader. But in order to do that, you must know that it is okay to draw attention to yourself, to not be concerned how others see you, and to accept that being different is not a detriment…it is what makes the world a better place, and THAT is a wonderful goal!

 

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