A tool I rarely thought about having tucked away in my utility chest, FLEXIBILITY may be one of the key tools to a better life. I recognize that with a well-honed ability to change direction, or see things from a different perspective, I have the potential to be happier and more content. As I have aged, I realize that the precepts that were gospel when I was young have changed dramatically, and if I am to “bend in the wind, and not crack,” I must stay ready to learn new things, accept what I might not have in the past, and not make value judgements based on fear.

Aging is not the only thing that has created the need for flexibility. Before having my ileostomy, I believed my body had to look a certain way, and I would be “less than” if it was different. Like so many women, I saw the “ideal” on television and in magazines every day and set the ideal as a goal. Having a stoma would take me farther away from the ideal, and that had the potential to me feel badly about myself. But the reality was that my ileostomy gave me an amazing gift, and how I looked lost its importance.  Accepting that my body is infinitely stronger, healthier, and more dependable took flexibility, and with that, came appreciation. I did not attribute my acceptance to flexibility at the time, but looking back, I realize I utilized that extremely valuable tool. 

Many friends and family are facing health challenges, and I am hoping their flexibility helps them in acceptance and appreciation. The vision of swaying with the breeze feels so uplifting, even peaceful, and gives way, I sense, to calm. For those whose health has been, until now, predictable, and stable, there is a huge need to establish new coping skills. And for those of us who have struggled for years, the medical community is changing constantly, and our needs are not necessarily going to be met in the same ways as in the past. All of us will need to be flexible or we will crack!

It is so much easier to deal with life’s challenges when unflustered and able to accept that life is always changing, always evolving, even when it feels extremely demanding and even punishing. I muse about the days when I would call a particular company and an operator directed my call to the helpful person who would make all my troubles disappear. Today, everything is automated, and I must accept that the lovely voice at the other end is not in any way related to a human being who can help me. I try to remind myself of that when after being on hold for 20 minutes listening to “elevator music” the Customer Service Representative picks up, asks what she can do to help, and then hangs up before I can answer. Yes, that is when all of my flexibility goes out the window, and I want to go to my utility box, take out my hammer ready to destroy my phone, and, NO…I will simply redial and wait, once again, for 20 minutes, because, as you already know from what I have told you, I am a very flexible person! 

 

 

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