The fly buzzed around the centipede for a while and then leaned in for a question. “With so many legs, how do you know which one is to move next?” The usually powerful, insightful and awesome centipede pondered which leg would be best to move? Should he move the one closest to the rear of his body or the ones in the middle, he continued to ponder. He realized he had never thought about, never had to think about, which leg to move next. As he spent his energy trying to make the perfect decision, reality hit. He did not and would not know the right leg to move, and thus, sadly, he could never move again. What had until then simply been instinct was now a cause for paralysis. The more he thought about his situation, the more recalcitrant became his legs, and he lay there stuck for eternity with paralysis by analysis, a malady that afflicts all of us at different times in our lives.

This fable, if I may entitle it as such, is in my mind many times in life. The thread that weaves through it seems to be a fear that there is a right and a wrong way to do something and doing something in the wrong way would cause a terrible result. Looking back after worrying and imagining worst case scenarios frequently points out that the time wasted could have been better used in a million ways.

Perhaps it is human nature to focus on the “what ifs” and the worry over the negative possibilities, but as I mentor, I am continuously struck by how much “ground is covered” by the bravery and determination of the Ostomy community. In truth, many will remind me that they had no choice in the matter, their life changing on a dime; their ostomy the lifesaver surgery it truly is. But many, like myself, came to the reality that reaching out to the lifesaver had to come from my hands, my determination, and paralysis by analysis was not an option.

My mantra is always to meet people where they are, and not where I know they will eventually be. If I were to go in reverse, I would be forcing my vision on another, and that would not be fair. The fact that a new Ostomate laments their fear of changing their appliance is commonplace and extremely understandable. If I were to tell that Ostomate that they will look back on this moment and smile at how far they have come may cause pressure and anger. I must guide them into moving one leg at a time, regardless of which leg they choose to move first. Their empowerment will move “the rest of their legs” as they progress in their adjustment.

I am not suggesting being foolish, arrogant, or ignorant when I suggest moving along in life. We are here to do our job of living our best life, and in so doing, we have many decisions to make. Keep in mind the centipede before he met the fly, moving along in life, not caught in suspended animation. Make your decision and follow your instincts. You are the powerful, insightful and awesome one who knows what you want and how to obtain it…just keep moving forward!

 

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