And that is just fine! I am speaking as a parent, a friend, a sibling, and an Ostomy Advocate. It seems, for many of us, that if someone has a problem, we must have the ability to fix it, and at times, that simply is not within our power. I tell this to myself frequently, but that doesn’t mean it eliminates my frustration when someone is in pain or in need, emotionally or physically, and I don’t know how to help them…what am I capable of doing?

Fortunately, what has served me well is listening intently and then plugging their questions or needs into my mental database. Have I dealt with this personally or with another patient or family/friend? If not, am I capable of sourcing an answer, or do I need to reach out to another to find one? That is the benefit of being involved and openly discussing like issues. Sometimes, just having a caring voice is enough. And sometimes, letting someone know you will go the extra distance with them is a game-changer in their adjustment or adaptation.

The key in my mind is realizing we are not omnipotent or all-knowing. Giving our best, coming from a place of loving concern, accepting our abilities and limitations, and being honest, above all else, may be just what another in extremis needs. Establishing that rapport and connection may be the best one can offer!

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