“A SMART PERSON KNOWS WHAT TO SAY, A WISE PERSON KNOWS WHETHER OR NOT TO SAY IT.” His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Such wisdom, so obvious and yet so much to contemplate. How many times have we been in a situation where we said the “right thing” and felt we should not have done so? Or we knew what to say, but chose to not say it for fear we were wrong or there would be repercussions? My mother always told me that “you are the master of your words until you speak them…then, you become their slave.” How many times do I wish I had followed that intelligent advice?
This isn’t about recriminations, because those mistakes were either rectified or decided to be put aside. This is about thinking of the impact our words have on others. No longer do “sticks and stones break bones but words will never harm us.” WORDS ARE POWERFUL WEAPONS and they HURT!
Freedom of speech doesn’t mean spewing forth whatever is on our minds. We live in a society where people are free to say whatever they want. What they say may be true, or it may be fabricated, and the fabrications may be accidental or malevolent. Who is to know?
Thinking several times before we speak is a habit we can cultivate. Will the words we say help or hurt someone or the situation? Are we labeling people to make it easier for ourselves so we don’t have to understand or validate them? Are we smart or are we wise? Can we be both?
I want to be honest and authentic in the words I say, and recognize that there are times when my words might be hurtful. Therefore, I need sensitivity and thoughtfulness as I honestly express myself. Speaking with kindness and support helps me to feel helpful; speaking with clarity and decisiveness helps the listener to not be confused by my message. And then again, there are times when regardless of how much I believe I know what to say, I should not say it…attempting to walk the line between smart and wise, and silent, is always a challenge!
I love this post. I cannot tell you how often I say something that may need to be said but should NOT have been said. You inspire with the way you see life and look at the world. Thank you for being in my life!
Wow, Ellyn, what a great Blog! This is always something I can use work on, because I am so direct! One forgets who can handle this, and who can’t. We’re all at different levels of acceptance. Thanks for the reminder!