No, this isn’t a likely question for a child to ask but it is certainly a very important consideration for all of us. Where does Self-Esteem come from (and please forgive the incorrect grammar in this question. My self-worth depends upon it!) Actually, that isn’t true, but what is true, is that the elusive ability to feel one’s worth, value, capability, uniqueness, etc. seems intrinsic to some, while others spend their entire life searching for it.

I believe that Self-Esteem begins with an honest relationship with our value system. Doing the “right thing” feels good. That feeling grows and grows, and there is a concomitant of happiness that accompanies that good feeling. Additionally, I believe that Self-Esteem comes from doing good. Whether it is volunteer work, listening to others in need, supporting the ill, or taking the time to smile at another, stepping out of ourselves brings us self-worth.

Many with an ostomy fear their self-image will suffer, and to that, I want to say…rather than worry being different weakens the ego, look at your ability to make a life with your new body, and your new normal. Our plumbing is altered, our experiences are unique, and we are strong, smart and capable. Whether our ostomy was emergent or long-planned, we all had to learn a new language, a new way of being. It is so satisfying to know without hesitation that we have the coping skills to do what needs to be done, and to face what others fear!

I feel better than in decades! No longer trapped with no sense of control, I know the score, and I follow what parameters work for me. My Support Groups bring me so much happiness, and talking with other ostomates is a gift I give myself, as I hope to give something to them. I volunteer at a Soup Kitchen where I bring food I prepare, and those who eat it enjoy it. I write about my experiences and share my appreciation for all I have. My self-image floundered for years and years, and my self-worth suffered terribly. I had Anorexia and Bulimia. I felt worthless and was in psychological pain for countless years. Too much in myself to assist others, I couldn’t see my way out. But becoming an ostomate made me strong, vital and in some ways, a leader! I have recognized the opportunity I have to make life better for others…that gives me great Self-Esteem, and I revel in it!   

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