Day whatever of the Pandemic and New Jersey is slowly opening businesses. Status: non-essential businesses such as retail are open as long as there is an open door to the outside; Anchor stores in malls are open, again, as long as there is a door to fresh air. Doctor’s offices, etc. are open, and restaurants can serve patrons outside, and although the view is no more exciting than the parking lot where many are located, we are loving the opportunity to dine out and see others doing the same. Next week, hair and nail salons open, and the scruffy look we have been donning will look old and done. Things are looking better, and for me, as long as I am wearing a mask, and others are doing the same, I am breathing a little better. No, I don’t think the worst has passed, I just believe that we made it through to now, and we will see what happens next. We continue to social distance as deemed necessary and look forward to the days when all are welcome back in our lives.
But never welcome in our lives is the squirrel who continues to plague us. Said squirrel is either on steroids or on hydroxychloroquine because he is the most aggressive and determined animal ever to invade our space and we have had many! Obviously, the Mantell Motel Vacancy sign is lit with neon lights, the Welcome mat indicates clean sheets and towels, or perhaps there is a sprinkling of acorns lining the path to our rooftop, Hansel and Gretel style because whatever we do, that squirrel/s manages to come for a stay.
Let’s recap: we have an intimate relationship with probably every technician who works for our exterminating company…they look around the attic, note the “droppings,” attest that there is, in fact, an animal who has taken domicile there (Squatter’s Rights?) and an idea on what needs to be done to end its interest in our home, on yes, Acorn Road; we have had a roofer put sheets of metal in various locations, shoring up the wood around them, only to have the animal chew through the wood so the metal sheets are left hanging, evidence he is smarter than us; we have had gutters cleaned in an attempt to find any small openings that can be pried open with the head of the animal, since apparently that is all it takes to enter, and they have been closed; and finally, we have now had a few trees cut that could be a ramp for the extreme sport of jumping off for the critter to land on our high-pitched Tudor style roof. If this animal were a candidate in the Scripps Spelling Bee, it could easily spell the hardest word in the English language, regardless of how many syllables.
Can we give up? Yell YOU WIN??? No, we cannot, our sanity does not allow us to do so. His activity above or on the side of me has pushed me out of my office, so I am working in my kitchen; he has kept me from sleeping nights, which is a challenge, anyway; he is undermining our self-esteem, so astute is he in his knowledge of the ingress and egress of our attic. And most importantly, how can something who doesn’t even have the courtesy to clean up after himself or leave a house gift after his visits, drive me to such distraction?
I feel your pain. I lived with two for a couple of years. My daughter named them. You could hear them come at night and I’d say Bill and Barb are home. They are so destructive. It took a long time to get rid of them. I send you prayers for your sanity.