My guess is most would rather be both! But if you had to choose, had to accept only one is attainable in a situation, which would you choose? You are in charge, you realize, so which would it be?

Many people seem to equate being right with winning, and that means winning at any price. They may be so in need of being right, they ignore how alone that makes them feel. In an ideal world, there would always be compromise, seeing and validating another’s point of view. When we dig in our heels to maintain our “right” position, we may win, but we may also lose.

Aging has provided the wisdom, I think, to recognize that I am better when I am happy. My self-confidence has grown with my age, and being right is less meaningful. I want to do what will bring me positive feelings, which will, in turn, make me feel more self-confident. This is a powerful cycle. Of course, I am not suggesting one become weakened by “giving in.” To the contrary. Winning may come from being flexible enough to not worry about right or wrong, but to help another feel validated in their opinion, as well.

If each of us feels strong enough in ourselves to not worry about being right, we may find the road to happiness to be paved with positive feelings. Being the person who is open to seeing, feeling and understanding another’s point of view may provide a reputation of being fair and open minded. That seems to be one that can create a great deal of happiness.

As a parent, I wanted to be right in what I taught my daughters when they were young. My conversations were pedantic at times, telling them how I believed they should act, feel, interface with the world. That felt the appropriate task at the time. Now, with adult daughters, I am more interested in hearing how they act, feel, interface with the world, and I want to be happy with our conversations. That has brought us closer, I feel, because they can relax, and so can I. It is not necessary for anybody to be right, or win, and we are all happier. We can validate rather than challenge.

The next time you are frustrated with a conversation or situation, consider choosing to be happy, rather than be right. It may lift your spirits beautifully to simply say, “okay, I see your point.” In the end, it may just make you and the other person happy!

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