Recently I was out for dinner and ran into a woman I had not seen since college, several decades ago. Naturally, we have both changed in many ways, yet her eyes were so familiar and as we traveled back in time, my mind wandered to what she must remember of me.

I only attended Emerson College in Boston for two years, suffering from a disorder that at that time had no identifiable name. Today it is called anorexia nervosa. If only she knew the hell that I and so many like me have endured, and the long-lasting effects anorexia and its counterpart bulimia have had on so many aspects of my life. Whereas anorexia destroys the body and brain, bulimia destroys the ego, the sense of self-worth, the soul.

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It had been a very rainy summer and the day was equally as threatening as so many over the past several weeks. Our monthly Union County Ostomy Support Group of New Jersey meeting was scheduled for 2:00 and I was thinking out loud to anyone within listening range that I expected very few would be venturing to the meeting. After all, aside from the threatening weather, it was the dead of the summer, and a big vacation week in the middle of August.

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As a self-avowed makeup and skin care junkie, I strongly believe that looking good is greatly related to feeling good. In fact, makeup and attention to my skin has helped me to get through the years of misery that led to my eventual ileostomy 4 years ago.

As I reflect back, I remember asking my husband to search my handbag for lip gloss when visiting me in the hospital with peritonitis, as soon as I was brought into my room post-surgeries and the like. As soon as I felt well enough to walk around my house, I was applying my skin care regimen and blush, so everyone knew I was fighting my way back. My suitcase, always at the ready for another surgery, contained my stash of the perfect lip color to brighten my pale face for visitors, including my physicians making early morning rounds. Somewhere along the way, I recognized that my ability to heal had a great deal to do with the colorful smile I could put on my face!

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