Taking my daughters to our traditional spa vacation suddenly meant, for me, changing services. No longer interested in massage, body skin cleansers and wraps or the like, I shied away from anyone seeing my changed anatomy. Facials are wonderful, but not to do every day, so while we prepared for our fun time together, my personal fun was less than it had been.
Body Image
MAMA, WHERE DOES SELF-ESTEEM COME FROM?
No, this isn’t a likely question for a child to ask but it is certainly a very important consideration for all of us. Where does Self-Esteem come from (and please forgive the incorrect grammar in this question. My self-worth depends upon it!) Actually, that isn’t true, but what is true, is that the elusive ability to feel one’s worth, value, capability, uniqueness, etc. seems intrinsic to some, while others spend their entire life searching for it.
I believe that Self-Esteem begins with an honest relationship with our value system. Doing the “right thing” feels good. That feeling grows and grows, and there is a concomitant of happiness that accompanies that good feeling. Additionally, I believe that Self-Esteem comes from doing good. Whether it is volunteer work, listening to others in need, supporting the ill, or taking the time to smile at another, stepping out of ourselves brings us self-worth.
Body Image and the Ostomate: From Imperfection to Perfection!
My parents came in two different sizes…my father was extra large and my mother was narrow and slim. While it is not unusual for a daughter to model after her mother, I would say that my modeling was extreme.
My mother not only was very weight conscious, she was very rigid and restricting of food and drink, and binging was a big part of her life, and as I found out later, unnamed bulimia. Her daily guidelines for foods to be consumed had a critique that usually ended with “Remember, Ellyn,” she would repeat, “a moment to the lips, a lifetime to the hips!” Blueberries, watermelon, and oranges were on her DO NOT EAT list since they had too much sugar. Meat, potatoes, breads were all annotated with what could just as easily have been a skull and cross bone. So as long as I followed her dictum, I would be narrow and slim like her, or so I thought.